Saturday Sleep-In

{and a few random tidbits from our weekend}

I've written before on how much I love (and desperately need) sleep. Sleeping in was something that used to happen very regularly on a Saturday morning and always included waking up to a clock that started with double digits. Now, of course, that has been drastically re-defined. Anything after 7:00am is classified as a sleep-in. 

Friday was a holiday here and we took the kids into Sao Paulo to meet some friends and then spent the afternoon/evening at Grandma's house. The one hour drive home is our favorite (and easiest) way to put the kids to bed after a long day. And even now that Lucas is getting older, and staying awake the whole ride home, he is usually pretty happy to get into his own bed when we arrive. 

I was pretty sure, however, that despite the long day and later bedtime, I would still be woken by my little angels before 6:30. It seems sometimes that the later they go to bed, the earlier they wake up! So imagine my surprise when Lucas comes into our room at 7:30 (Yes! 7:30 people!!) to inform me that Elena needed me. Our baby monitor occasionally cuts out and so I wasn't hearing her call for me. Once we were all up and relaxing in the living room I saw some evidence that Lucas must've been awake for a while before hearing Elena calling and then summoning me - mainly a freshly finished cup of yogurt. But you know what? I am more than happy to let him get up, get a snack and entertain himself for a bit in the morning (especially with Elena safely in her crib) so I can have a resemblance of a sleep-in. Hooray for growing up :)

More evidence of growing up - look how nicely they are sharing the blocks!

Also wanted to share this precious conversation that happened between Lucas and his grandma. They were talking about his cool car and cool house when grandma asked, "And do you have a cool mommy and a cool daddy?" To which Lucas replied, "No, I don't have a cool mommy and a cool daddy, they're just old." (Clearly to him "cool" is synonymous with "new")

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Sharing - and Co-Hosting Monday Mom Musings

Sharing. It's something we all have to learn to do. We've all heard the phrase "sharing is caring" and it's one of the big lessons we have to teach our kids. Especially when you have more than one. Before Elena was born I was worried about how it would be raising two kids who were so close in age. But the things I worried about weren't hard at all. Caring for a newborn and a toddler wasn't too bad - after all, I was already a pro at diaper changing, giving baths, breastfeeding, sleep routines and the like.

It was managing my time and balancing the two that became tough - right around when Elena became mobile. Because then she became very interested in whatever Lucas was doing and he wasn't old enough or mature enough to be able to/want to share with her.

Why is it that kids only want the toy that the other is playing with? And once discarded by one, it is often forgotten by the other as well. We are working hard on sharing and taking turns in our house. Distraction is also a widely used technique. I just have to make sure I distract the other one with a quiet toy - anything that makes any noise will immediately attract the other and we have to start all over again.

How do you help your kids to share?

Lucas "shares" ALL the toys and books with Elena in her crib.

We enjoy games and activities that make sharing easier.

Another phrase we use with our kids is, "it's more FUN if you share" - and as adults it's true too! I'm so excited to share the link-up {Monday Mom Musings} with my new blogging friend Jelli from Jellibean Journals. Check it out and share your mommy stories. 

Now it’s your turn! Please join me and link up your {Monday Mom Musings}; anecdotes, game & activity ideas, gems of wisdom, crafts, recent triumphs, or anything else that you’ve learned or would like to share with us this week about parenting.

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Link up now, Lovelies

 

Big Sister and Crazy Hair

Although Elena is our youngest, because she and Lucas are so close, she is starting to display some "older sister" qualities. 

Mealtimes are sometimes a struggle for us, not with Elena, but with Lucas. He usually has ants in his pants, can't sit still and wants help with eating. Elena, on the other hand needs no encouragement and is a great eater. The other night as I was sitting down with the kids to eat, Lucas once again pleaded with me, "momma, feed me!" to which I replied, "Lucas you are big enough to feed yourself. Just look at Elena, she's eating so well!"

Lucas took one look at Elena, sitting there next to him eating so contentedly, and asked so sweetly, "Elena, you feed me?" and in true older sister fashion, Elena picked up his spoon and fed him the rest of his food. Sure, the spoons got switched and lots of food and germs were shared, but by the end both were fed and both plates were empty and I could actually enjoy my own meal. It was quite funny to watch. 

In the event we have another child, Elena is going to be a great older sister and a big help to mommy.

In other news, at the end of this week we have a holiday. October 12th is Children's Day here and so the kids have the day off school and it is customary for them to receive a gift on this day. As well as that, their pre-school has planned a week of fun things for them to do in the run-up to the holiday. 

Today is crazy hair day. At first Lucas was a little hesitant when I said I was going to make his hair look funny, "But mommy, everyone will laugh at me" and I explained that no one was going to laugh because everyone was going to have funny hair. So he let me try to gel his hair into a mohawk. Elena also wanted gel in her hair but I thought it was too long for it to do much, so we tied a whole bunch of little pony tails resulting in a super cute "palm tree" look. 

All ready for school in their cute uniform and crazy hair.

Tomorrow is pyjama day!

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The "Whys"

Yes, we have hit that dreaded stage, the "why" stage, with our oldest. Ack! Mom is supposed to have all the answers, right? At least we are to let them believe that for as long as we possibly can. And how do we do that? By answering all. their. questions.

On average we get about five "whys" in any given conversation. Here's one that happened recently, as we were watching fish, waiting for our car to get pulled out of the parking lot (yay for cheap valet in Brazil - super nice when you have a big car on narrow roads and don't want to try to parallel park.)

via

Lucas: Can I touch it?
Me: No, Lucas.
Lucas: Why?
Me: Because the fish needs to be in water, so you can't take it out.
Lucas: But why?
Me: Because if you take the fish out, it will flop all over the place. Fish need water to live.
Lucas: But why?
Me: Because they swim in the water and if you take it out, it can't swim.
Lucas: But....
Me: No buts, let's get out of here! (distraction technique at it's finest)

Sometimes I think he also has the memory of a fish because I swear we had that conversation at least three times while we waited for our car.

Now, I don't want to brush off my kid and abruptly end every conversation that starts with "why". I want to encourage a love of learning, and it starts with being able to ask questions. I never want my kids to think they can't ask me something. So I try to answer as simply and briefly as possible so he will understand, and stay patient while repeating things over and over and over.

But I don't have all the answers, no surprise there. I do have some questions of my own though.

Why do kids choose the most inopportune moment to have a potty crisis?

Why do kids think the toilet bowl is a good alternative to the sink for washing hands?

Why do kids put everything into their mouth? (including previously mentioned "potty hands")

Why do kids wake up just as you're ready for bed, lights out, teeth brushed and dozing off? It's like they have special radar or something.

Most of these questions remain in my mind, probably never to be answered, but my kids are also the target of "why" questions, usually this one:

"Lucas, why did you do that?"

As my kids get older, develop a better grasp on their language, communication and knowledge, I have an idea as to how to deal with the "whys"...

Lucas: Mommy, why is the sky blue?
Me: Why do you think the sky is blue?
Lucas:...
Me: :)

Share your "why" questions (yours or your kids) in the comments!

Bilingual

You know, those people; the ones who have multiple languages stuck under their belt, switching effortlessly between the two, depending on the person and situation. Those people who can start a sentence in one language and finish in another. I don't like them. Ok, that's not true. In fact, most of the bilinguals I know, I love. :) It's just that I'm jealous that they grew up speaking two languages and can't remember how they learned them. I, on the other hand, despite living 12 years in Asia, got by with English and a little bit of Bangla. Definitely not enough to be considered fluent or bilingual. And so I find myself here in Brazil, struggling to learn another language, wishing I was gifted in that area like my dad is, and raising two kids to be bilingual.

When I met my husband at university, we spoke English all the time. (He is my favorite bilingual) Admittedly he did try several times to get me to learn Portuguese in those early months/years together, but as we were living in Canada and then Bangladesh, it was hard for me to add on another language. It wasn't until we moved to Brazil in 2009 that I really started learning Portuguese. I have since forgotten any Bangla I used to know, and refuse to think about any French I once knew (having studied it for 7 years in school).

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There's lots of differing advice out there about how to raise your kids to speak more than one language. Some suggest that each parent exclusively speak one language with their kid. In our case, my hubby would speak only Portuguese and I would speak only English. But what happens when you are all together?

Since we are living in a dominantly Portuguese culture we have done it this way; when we are at home, we all speak English. When we're out, I almost always speak English with the kids and hubby alternates.

It has been interesting to see how our kids are starting to incorporate both languages into their arsenal. Lucas only really started talking a few months after he turned two - a little delay probably because he was getting two languages, and when he started, it was all English. He started pre-school a few months before he turned three, and while the first few weeks were challenging, he adapted very well to the Portuguese-only environment. Soon he was coming home singing Portuguese songs and learning to distinguish between the two languages.

People sometimes ask me how Lucas is doing with Portuguese and it's a little hard to know exactly how much he knows because he usually speaks English with me. For a while he would come home from school speaking Portuguese and if I would respond in English, he would say, "Não, mamãe, fala português" (no, mom, speak Portuguese!) Now I think he understands that it's easier for him to speak English to me. When we are out, however, he happily speaks Portuguese to people around, at church, at the shops, to kids at the park. Sometimes when he's playing by himself I hear him switching between languages. And it's so cute.

We have a lot of books in English and Portuguese at home. 

For now I think I know a little more Portuguese than he does, but I know the day will come when he will start correcting me. :)

So I'd better get back to my language study...

When a child is sick

When you have a sick little one at home, there's a little tug in your heart, an unsettling feeling that something is just not right. A usually energetic child is sluggish and sleepy, the lightness in their step is replaced by dragging feet and a runny nose, peaceful slumber is displaced by coughing spells and waking cries.

Lucas had chicken pox at 6 months old in 2009. 

When a child is sick it's hard not to feel responsible as a parent, and more so as a mother. When your care is not enough to keep them healthy and thriving. Of course, it is ridiculous to expect that you can always protect your children from the bugs and viruses and illnesses that come their way, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I could have done more...

After all, we decide what the kids wear - is it too cold for shorts? Too hot for a sweater? Should they wear socks to bed or not?

We decide what the kids eat - more juice, more water, less sugar, less sweets. More veggies, less pasta, vitamins or supplements, the options are endless and often what we do is never enough...

We decide what medicine the kids take - do they need inhalation? More antibiotics? Is their temperature high enough to warrant Tylenol or should I let the body fight the infection? When do we go to the clinic/doctor?

So many decisions made every day, often leave me feeling unequipped and unprepared, always feeling I could be doing something more...

This feels like a regular rotation every month or so...

We have had a rough spell of sickness between our two kids over the past few months, actually this whole year hasn't been the best for our whole family in terms of health and wellness. Counting infections and viruses, Elena and Lucas have taken 7 doses of antibiotics between them since March. And I am not one to rush into taking any more medicines than necessary. I feel the antibiotics just aren't cutting it anymore (might be making things worse?) and am looking into more natural ways of boosting their immune system.

Here are a few of my health goals for the next few weeks (mostly taken from this article here)
 - fresh orange juice and other home-made fruit and veggie juices
 - ground almonds onto their evening meal
 - cod liver oil (since we're not really a fish-eating family)
 - season steamed veggies with fresh garlic

Also found a great article with immune-boosting foods here - so we'll be trying to eat a lot more of those vegetables and foods.

How do you keep your kids healthy?

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To 3 or Not To 3

That is the question. Or rather, to be or not to be a family of five. 

It's a question that's not easy to answer. And one that I flip flop on about every other day. Yes! It would be great to have another. Babies are so cute and cuddly. And mine are growing up so fast. No! After a day like today, I never want to have another baby ever. 

And my hubby thinks I'm crazy for going back and forth on this issue. He just laughs at my hormonally induced mood swings. He has basically left the decision up to me since I'm the one who has to carry the baby, give birth, and do most of the caring, especially in the first few years. Now you might wonder how we got to this point in our family...

Lucas is our first and definitely a planned pregnancy. Before he was even one, I was already missing the baby stage and we were starting to talk about another one. I think we always knew we would like more than one. But before we could really start planning (or trying for) another baby, Elena surprised us! In fact, we announced our pregnancy at Lucas' first birthday party. It really was kind of crazy. So before Lucas was 20 months old, Elena was born. And there were times during the pregnancy when I wondered just how I was going to cope with these two. (read more about their completely opposite birth stories here)

And yet I remember how wonderful it is; the excitement of a pregnancy, feeling your little one moving around inside, holding them for the first time, cuddling and swaddling and bathing and just resting with this tiny bundle of love who has all their needs met in you.

But I also remember the morning sickness, fatigue, blood tests and doctors visits, not to mention labor and delivery, recovery, breast-feeding, (I love breast-feeding, but the initial days/weeks of getting used to it can be painful) sleepless nights and dirty diapers.

And to do all this again with two pre-schoolers running around. Hmm, definitely not a decision I want to make lightly.

But come on, look at these two cuties. Who wouldn't want another one running around?

snack time! 

making a mess (they are particularly good at this one)

One girl, one boy - by Brazilian standards, we are set. Why would we need another? Others have said, "they're so cute, you should have more."

We've got a boys and girls set of baby clothes and shoes, strollers, toys, car seats, everything we need. Quite unexpectedly we moved to a bigger house and got a bigger car. Hubby says now it's time to expand the womb.

Some days I think I could handle it. Another baby to care for, another mouth to feed.

Other days, no. way. These two are sometimes pretty challenging. And have I mentioned I'm an introvert?

So here's my plan. Get a calendar. Mark each day with a check (I'd love another kid) or a cross (no way josé)

This is kind of how I feel things would be about now. Most days it's a no, a few days I feel like "Mom of the Year" and some days start out great and would get crossed out when bedtime turns into a waking nightmare.

Of course, it's not just another baby we're talking about; it's another toddler, pre-schooler, school-ager, tween, teenager.....it's a whole other person! (I know it sounds obvious, but sometimes we forget what babies turn in to!)

And we have time, of course we do, and we don't have to have a third right now, but I kind of think I would like to get the baby stuff done all at once, and have the kids grow up together. I already wonder how a third would fit in with the older two being so close.

So then maybe we need to have two more....

(Please don't take this post too seriously - obviously a checked off calendar is not the way to make a decision about growing your family. We feel very blessed to have our two kiddos, we love our family and the crazy ride that is parenthood. We also believe God has a plan for us and our family (including future children) and while we may dream and prepare, we are trusting trust in His plan and timing.)

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Simple Saturday

After a tough week of dealing with two sick kids, medicines, trips to the doctor and general fussiness (which we partly blame on the antibiotics) we were up bright and early on Saturday morning and ready to have a relaxed and fun day. Although it is technically winter here, we have had just beautiful weather the past few months - warm, dry and sunny, with cool evenings. I had tried to do a lot of housework on Friday so that I would be able to enjoy Saturday without too many piles of laundry/dishes staring me in the face. 

So what did we do to make this day any different from the past week? Well, for starters, we moved the car out of our carport to make room for a lot of running around. My kids love playing with each other, they're just not very good at it yet - which does make for a bit of yelling, screaming and crying. And usually mommy gets pulled into whatever game or make-believe they have created. I've also come up with my new catch-phrase, "well, it's not the worst thing they could be doing...."

For example, I found them coloring all over the stroller with the sidewalk chalk I had given them. Now, we rarely use our stroller any more, so it was pretty easy for me to say, "well, it's not the worst thing they could be doing..." After all, it did give me ten minutes of happy silence to finish washing the dishes. 

We also had a nice picnic outside, complete with popcorn, juice, sandwiches and carrot sticks. While we've been having some meal-time issues with Lucas (too busy playing to want to eat, or too distracted to sit down for more than 5 seconds) both kids really enjoyed eating outside and we had no issues with staying at the table to eat. 

We spent a lot of energy running around the space, pushing the stroller with one kid in, or piggy back rides (good exercise for momma) with the other one running behind. They did both try to get on my back at the same time which is just not going to happen.

And we just generally enjoyed the sunshine.

Hiding his smile from mommy

Enjoying the sunshine

Brotherly Love

Sisterly Love

Just having a little chat

Sometimes it just takes a little time and few simple things to make a great morning. Now, if only I had the energy to keep giving them piggy back rides, we'd be set for the whole day!

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and

This Too Shall Pass...

This is a phrase we hear all the time, especially as new, young moms with small kids. Usually in reference to some of the more challenging aspects of raising our babies; sleepless nights, nursing/feeding issues, teething, tantrums, potty training progress (or lack thereof); you can see the list goes on and on....

Thankfully, these things do pass, and often once they do, fade from memory as well. The difficult nights of the first week become such a blur (because they really were), the demanding feeding schedule makes way for three meals a day, the budding teeth create the beautiful smile that melts your heart. And we forget the pain and the hardship and the struggle that it sometimes is to just. get. to. naptime.

But there are other things that pass too, things that we may take for granted, things we are going to miss and memories we want to keep.

This too shall pass...
      the small fist grasping your finger,
               the little arm of your nursing baby wrapped around your side on a chilly night,
                        the way you can envelope your entire baby on your chest,
                                the hands stretched up for you to grab,
                                         the way you can carry your baby on your hip,
                                the contented breathing of a sick child sleeping finally in your arms,
                        the joyful excitement of discovering something new,
                the way your world looks fresh to new eyes.

Some days I just look at my daughter and am struck again by the wonder of life, the miracle of birth, and the immense privilege of having a child of my own. Some days I forget about all the small details of this baby stage that I am going to miss and get too caught up in the difficulties, and then my little sunshine asks to be carried, and she lays her head down on my shoulder, squeezes me tight with arms that just reach around to my back and I want to remain in that moment forever. Of course, if it were all smiles and snuggles we would never want our babies to grow up, and if it were all trials and tribulations we would never cherish the moments of joy or appreciate the journey of growing.

So when the days are tough, and the trials seem to be overwhelming, find a moment of joy, love and tenderness that can shine a little light and warmth into your heart and you will discover strength and purpose for all those hard moments. (Looking at pictures of your little one also helps remind you of how far you've already come!)
                               

Linking up with {Monday Mom Musings} from Jellibean Journals