Spontaneous vs. Scheduled

Every birth is different. Unique and filled with a myriad of emotion. No matter how you plan to have your baby. And while every woman generally knows what to expect in labor and delivery, you never really know what to expect. Things can change in a heartbeat and your birth plan goes out the window.

I've been very blessed to have three deliveries that were low risk and without complications. On one end of the spontaneous vs scheduled spectrum I've had one completely natural birth, and on the other end, a scheduled c-section. My middle child, fittingly, was in the middle - a scheduled induction.

I loved not knowing exactly when Lucas would be born, waiting the last few days, anxiously anticipating my first birthing experience. You can read his full birth story here; it was definitely an interesting one!

It is so amazing to me how a woman's body works; throughout the pregnancy growing that small, tiny collection of cells into a whole person, and at the right time creating the perfect conditions for giving birth. It is something so natural, beautiful, painful and messy.

Now, my kids have all loved being in the womb, the first two almost overstayed their welcome - which is why I had an induced birth with Elena. In many ways it was the easiest of my pregnancies and deliveries. We sauntered in to the hospital on the day of her birth, got some drugs and relaxed until the contractions started. Nine hours later Elena arrived and I got to spend the first hour of her life nursing her in the labor and delivery room while I was under observation. It was time I never got with my other kids.

After having two vaginal deliveries, I thought the third one would be easy as pie. Then we found out it was twins! I had high hopes for the first few months that I'd still be able to have a natural delivery, but by about 32 weeks both girls were heads up and I was getting anxious to get them out! Since the birth I've basically been told that doctors here rarely allow a natural twin delivery. It was quite a different feeling to know almost exactly when they would be born (barring complications, of course). Despite a little scare a week before their "due date" they were pretty happy in the womb. I'm not sure how much longer I could have gone though!

36 Weeks and 1 day - in the hospital just about to be prepped for surgery.

So at 36 weeks we checked in to the hospital and got prepped. Honestly I kind of felt like I was cheating by skipping the whole painful labor part. (Of course I knew I would probably make up for it with a painful recovery). It was my first ever surgery. The weird thing is they remove the babies and they get whisked away to be cleaned and checked. Ours went to the ICU for observation seeing as they were technically "preemies". Then you spend about 45 minutes getting sewn up from the surgery and taken to an observation wing to wait for hours as the anesthesia wears off. It is this bizarre time, feeling frozen and "alone", sensing that something is just missing. I spent many minutes wondering about where all four of my kids were, what they were doing, and when I'd be able to see and hold my new babies.

If I were to do it again (which I am not) - I would try again for a natural delivery, probably with an epidural. The recovery just seemed so much harder and prolonged with a c-section. This could also be because it was twins, or because it is the most recent of my birthing experiences. I am, however, so thankful to have had a c-section in a time and place where it is safe, routine and relatively "low risk". If I'd had minimal medical resources, I probably would've died trying to deliver two babies who were in breech and transverse positions!

Beyond all that, of course, is the fact that I have four healthy, thriving kids and I'll be glad to share with them the amazing ways they entered the world.

They're Here!

This post is going to be short and sweet - just wanted to announce the arrival of Lisa Beth Portela and Leila Joy Portela!

On their way to the ICU, sharing an incubator

More specifics later of my delivery and recovery, but for now...

Lisa Beth Portela

20 May 2013 at 1:14pm

Weight: 2.665 kilos (5.8 lbs)

Length: 46 cm

Leila Joy Portela

20 May 2013 at 1:15pm

Weight: 2.425 kilos (5.3 lbs)

Length: 46.5 cm

On our way home from the hospital - Thursday. 

Still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I have twins, and four kids! My older two have been home with daddy, nana and auntie Jaz for the past few days and since they are all still getting over colds, I'll be staying with my in-laws and the twins for a few more days before heading home.

We praise God for healthy, happy (and currently very sleepy) babies. The girls only had to stay in the ICU for a few hours for observation and then we had them in my recovery room. We did make good use of the nursery at night though, as my recovery was a little harder than I expected. Tonight will be my first night with the girls on my own (and my mother-in-law to help).

Thanks for all your prayers and congratulations. 

Belated Birth Story: My Firstborn

Did you know my husband delivered our first child? No, he's not a doctor, or a nurse, or even medically trained at all. But I shudder to think of what could have happened had God not blessed me with a strong, smart and brave hubby who, in that very crucial moment, knew just how to help me deliver our son...

Let's go back a bit, considering my firstborn is turning 4 today. I never really wrote down my birth story and I know it's something I'll love to look back on.

2008: Hubby and I had been married almost three years and I had baby fever. Bad. We were working as missionaries in Bangladesh with an international church, serving as youth and worship leaders. The time was right. In March of 2008 we conceived.

After a very easy pregnancy, we were getting close to the due date, and no signs of anything. I knew that a lot of first pregnancies are often late, so I wasn't worried. I was hoping for a natural birth, and my doctor would let me go until 41 weeks before inducing me. So 39 and 40 weeks passed. We were enjoying the cool season in Bangladesh, celebrating Christmas with our friends and cherishing the moments, just the two of us. The "due date" was Dec 28, 2008. On New Year's Eve we attended a party - still nothing. It would be a 2009 baby for us.

January 2nd, 2009: Friday, and usually a church day for us. Our church met on Friday afternoons in another church's building and the sanctuary was 4 floors up - tall floors and no elevators. So we decided to skip church that day and instead headed out for a leisurely evening of dinner out and card games at the American Club (Recreation center provided for embassy members, American expats and other International guests). Not sure it was the best idea to go waddling around, riding rickshaws and whatnot at this stage of a pregnancy, but I guess it worked - right after we ordered our food I went to the bathroom and my water broke. I had not had any signs of labor until that point.

We texted our friends who were just finishing up the church service and asked them to pick us up. (We had no car.) They thought we were joking as just minutes earlier David had texted to see if they wanted to join us for dinner. I sat in the bar, starting to feel contractions, as we waited for our ride.

We also called our midwife, Diane, and she and her husband drove us to our home to pick up our bags, and then on to the hospital. Contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart and about 30 seconds long by this point. We were fortunate to make the trip across town to our hospital at a good time of the week, not too much traffic (which can sometimes be at a standstill for hours).

Upon arriving at the hospital, about an hour after my water broke, we asked for a wheelchair and made our way up to the maternity ward. We had done no pre-registering or anything, but soon I had my nice hospital gown (top and skirt) and my own labor/delivery room with my own bathroom. David later had to go back down to the emergency desk to officially register me.

Getting settled for a LONG night ahead. 

I was well stocked up with snacks, juices and lots of water. Before giving birth in a foreign country and hospital, I had asked another missionary woman about her experiences giving birth in this hospital and what advice she had for me. The biggest thing she said was to know what I wanted and not let the doctors walk all over me. So when they asked to put an IV of antibiotics in as soon as I got there I said no. There was no way I was going to be chained to the bed by an IV line when my water had just broke and there was no chance of infection.

Being in a third world country, we had no birthing classes or anything like that. So all I knew was what I had read and a few pieces of advice from other new moms. I didn't really want an epidural, and it's a good thing because the hospital was only equipped to provide one during office hours, when their anesthesiologist was on duty (7am - 7pm or something like that). I arrived at about 7:30pm. So I dealt with my labor pains by walking a lot, squatting, swaying, and taking baths. I was monitored every few hours and basically left alone for most of the night. I didn't have music, candles or anything else, just used my imagination to take me away to a calm and peaceful beach scene through each contraction.

I was allowed to have one person accompanying me, so my hubby, David and our friend who is a midwife (not connected to the hospital or recognized by them), Diane, took turns staying with me and resting.

January 3, 2009: This is where it starts to get blurry. I am not a night person, so to be in labor throughout the night was definitely not fun. It got to a point at the end where I was falling asleep in between contractions! David was faithfully timing them on his phone and keeping our parents and family (in Brazil and Canada) up to date on my progress through Facebook.

Finally, at about 5:30am, I was at 10cm dilated and ready to go. Soon I had the whole team of nurses and my doctor there with David. Since I was only allowed one person with me, Diane was waiting outside. I felt like I pushed forever. And nothing was happening. My feet were up and I had those handy handles for my arms. And there was the problem. I was pushing with my arms, not my stomach. I was pushing on those handles, and actually closing my hips instead of opening them up. By this point I had asked the doctor how many more pushes and she had given up and went to sit in the corner, convinced it would just take more time.

But somehow David sensed there was something amiss, and he noticed what I was doing wrong. He told me the next time to pull with my hands and push with my hips. Sure enough, after two more pushes Lucas came flying out, the nurses barely had time to grab him and fling him on my belly. If he had been stuck in the birth canal any longer, who knows what kind of oxygen loss he could have suffered.

That, is how my husband delivered our first son. Lucas was born at 6:45am, after almost exactly 12 hours of labor.

Lucas was whisked away to get checked out and I was stitched up (had an episiotomy). We were told Lucas had some signs of distress and was looking "a little pale". They wanted to take him to the NICU for observation. We called my parents and my dad encouraged David to go with Lucas to the NICU to make sure they didn't try anything funny. Sure enough, they wanted to give him antibiotics and put him on oxygen. He would not stand to have the oxygen mask around his face and kept swiping at it.

Even though we were told Lucas might have to stay in the NICU for up to 48 hours, at about 10:00am, after I had been taken to my recovery room, Lucas was brought to us there. Exhausted, and still in pain from the worst post-delivery stitching ever, it was such a surreal experience to hold our little son.

Holding Lucas for the first time. 

We spent only one night in the hospital before taking Lucas home.

And now, here we are in 2013, celebrating this little boy's 4th birthday! My, how time flies.

Speechless

No problems going wordless on this wednesday....

I should note that the ultrasound technician said ab.so.lute.ly NOTHING to me during the ultrasound to suggest there was more than one baby. Actually he didn't say anything to me at all. So I was totally speechless when I saw the results. Bring on the crazy, baby! (or should I say, babies!)

And for those who don't follow me on Facebook - here's how we announced our pregnancy to the world at large.

So many people did not notice that there are two hearts :)

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

Worlds Apart

One mother. One boy, one girl. One planned, one surprise. One natural, one induced.

Two lives, two births. Two hospitals, two countries...

Two very different experiences...

Worlds apart...

Every birth is a unique adventure. You never really know how it's going to turn out. As I went through my second pregnancy, I had to laugh at the marked differences between it and my first one. Lucas was born in a fancy hospital in Bangladesh, and Elena was born in a fancy hospital in Brazil. But there the similarities end. What follows are some of my reflections on pregnancy and delivery in these two countries...

I felt a little over-doctored here in Brazil. I saw my doctor every month from the time we found out we were expecting (which was quite early - about 6 weeks in), every two weeks from 32 weeks, and every week from 36 weeks, and twice in the last week. Considering I was almost at 42 weeks when Elena was finally born - I saw a lot of my doctor! With Lucas I managed to get by with a lot fewer appointments.

Every time I saw my doctor, I had an internal exam, and in Bangladesh I had to ask my doctor to do even one, and this in my last three weeks of pregnancy. She said many Bengali women are scared of the pain of even an internal exam and opt for scheduled c-sections (if they can afford it). Interestingly, in Brazil, scheduled c-sections are also very common. I was very determined to have natural births and made it very clear to my doctors.

I had 9 ultrasounds with Elena - all covered by our insurance (thank goodness!) and from the second one we had a guess as to our baby's gender - the doctor said with 80% certainty it was a girl. Each subsequent scan confirmed it. We pushed our doctors in Bangladesh to reveal Lucas' gender to no avail, and only found out when a friend of ours did the ultrasound herself. We had 4 ultrasounds for Lucas and got to see him in 4D, which we didn't get with Elena. 

Before Lucas was born, we went to tour the hospital - meaning we wandered down to the maternity ward after one of my check-ups and asked to get shown around. We saw the labor ward and the delivery rooms. I was pretty happy with what I saw, but didn't really have all my questions answered. Here in São Paulo, we had to call and set up an appointment, and we were part of a big group tour. We got to see the reception, recovery rooms and the hallways. Everything else we saw on a video, which may have answered my questions if I could've understood everything.

In Bangladesh, we rushed to the hospital after my water broke, asked for a wheelchair and made our way straight to the maternity ward. Later David had to go down and officially register me at the emergency desk. This time around we leisurely took a cab to the hospital and sat around in the reception for about an hour while the insurance was called, our information taken and all the official stuff taken care of.

Lucas was probably the only white baby in the hospital in Dhaka. To my recollection he didn't even have an ID tag. In fact, I don't think I had one either. Here I had two tags on my wrist, and Elena had one on each foot and one arm. When the nurses brought her to my room from the nursery, both our tags were scanned with a handheld device to confirm her identity as my daughter.

All in all, each experience was so special because of the wonderful outcome, my beautiful children. It is something I wouldn't change for the world.

Although it would be nice someday to have a kid in a hospital where I can understand everything in my own language! We'll leave the language issues for another post...