Monday, 4 March 2013

Can't we all just get along?

or Sibling rivalry rears its ugly head.

or Now I know why there's a fine line between love and hate.

It's been a challenging few months weeks in the Portela household. We have hit new highs and lows in relationships, behavior and discipline. I wrote a while back about Lucas and his Ferocious Fours and with Elena bringing new meaning to the term Terrible Twos it's been tough to keep the peace between them. Increasingly vocal, stubborn, opinionated and loud, it's a wonder we get a minute of peace and quiet in our home! Add to that growing strength, force and power (from both of them) - and I basically need to keep a hawk eye on them all day long. They are not happy being apart, not happy being together. Seems like one of those, "can't live with them, can't live without them" situations! Here are a few of our most common scenarios...

I don't want to do that!
Whether it is getting dressed in the morning for school, taking a bath, going down for a nap or simply putting on shoes to go outside and play; there's been a lot of resistance from Elena. I think it is mostly her desire to do things independently, "yet [let] me do it!" Lucas more or less responds, but often in his own time and is distracted much too easily by other things. 

Leave me alone!
Lucas is often happy playing by himself, and any attempt on Elena's part to play with him is often met with severe resistance, usually including loud screams and hitting/kicking/pushing. To deal with this I try to get Elena involved in her own activity, in a separate room, but somehow the two of them are drawn together like magnets! Which leads to the next point...

I want to "share"!
If I do manage to get Elena away from Lucas, heaven forbid I get her any noise making toy - iPad, sound book or musical instrument. Because then, all of a sudden, her toy is much more interesting than anything Lucas was doing and he declares, "I want to share" - which of course, is only when it is convenient for him. Occasionally Elena acquiesces and we get a few minutes of peace, otherwise there is more screaming and yelling. 

Rare Moments
Of course, there are times when Lucas and Elena somehow manage to find some common ground and play together nicely. These, however, often coincide with doing something they are not supposed to do and we start back at square one (after the mess has all been cleaned up). 

I'm sure this is all a pretty normal stage for close siblings to go through, it's just not made easier by the fact that momma is becoming less and less mobile and more and more exhausted as the twins grow bigger by the day. My only consolation (and a tenuous one at that) is that I'm glad we're dealing with this now and I hope that somehow we will get past this aggressive/rebellious stage before the twins arrive. I can hope, right? Otherwise it's going to be a very tough transition into a family of six! 

Hmm, wonder why I can't find any photos of them fighting? 
  So, how do I teach my kids to just get along?  


  1. That is the age old question. You just keep doing what you are doing. You will continue to have good days, and not so good. Make them play together and apart-on your terms.

  2. hi, i'm following the "mom's monday mingle" blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.

    new follower bev

  3. I am not looking forward to that stage, my sister and I fought like cats and dogs, I hope my children won't be the same...

    Thanks for linking up with Finding Family this week!


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