Monday, 10 September 2012

To 3 or Not To 3

That is the question. Or rather, to be or not to be a family of five. 

It's a question that's not easy to answer. And one that I flip flop on about every other day. Yes! It would be great to have another. Babies are so cute and cuddly. And mine are growing up so fast. No! After a day like today, I never want to have another baby ever

And my hubby thinks I'm crazy for going back and forth on this issue. He just laughs at my hormonally induced mood swings. He has basically left the decision up to me since I'm the one who has to carry the baby, give birth, and do most of the caring, especially in the first few years. Now you might wonder how we got to this point in our family...

Lucas is our first and definitely a planned pregnancy. Before he was even one, I was already missing the baby stage and we were starting to talk about another one. I think we always knew we would like more than one. But before we could really start planning (or trying for) another baby, Elena surprised us! In fact, we announced our pregnancy at Lucas' first birthday party. It really was kind of crazy. So before Lucas was 20 months old, Elena was born. And there were times during the pregnancy when I wondered just how I was going to cope with these two. (read more about their completely opposite birth stories here)

And yet I remember how wonderful it is; the excitement of a pregnancy, feeling your little one moving around inside, holding them for the first time, cuddling and swaddling and bathing and just resting with this tiny bundle of love who has all their needs met in you.

But I also remember the morning sickness, fatigue, blood tests and doctors visits, not to mention labor and delivery, recovery, breast-feeding, (I love breast-feeding, but the initial days/weeks of getting used to it can be painful) sleepless nights and dirty diapers.

And to do all this again with two pre-schoolers running around. Hmm, definitely not a decision I want to make lightly.

But come on, look at these two cuties. Who wouldn't want another one running around?
snack time! 
making a mess (they are particularly good at this one)

One girl, one boy - by Brazilian standards, we are set. Why would we need another? Others have said, "they're so cute, you should have more."

We've got a boys and girls set of baby clothes and shoes, strollers, toys, car seats, everything we need. Quite unexpectedly we moved to a bigger house and got a bigger car. Hubby says now it's time to expand the womb.

Some days I think I could handle it. Another baby to care for, another mouth to feed.

Other days, no. way. These two are sometimes pretty challenging. And have I mentioned I'm an introvert?

So here's my plan. Get a calendar. Mark each day with a check (I'd love another kid) or a cross (no way josé)
This is kind of how I feel things would be about now. Most days it's a no, a few days I feel like "Mom of the Year" and some days start out great and would get crossed out when bedtime turns into a waking nightmare.

Of course, it's not just another baby we're talking about; it's another toddler, pre-schooler, school-ager, tween,'s a whole other person! (I know it sounds obvious, but sometimes we forget what babies turn in to!)

And we have time, of course we do, and we don't have to have a third right now, but I kind of think I would like to get the baby stuff done all at once, and have the kids grow up together. I already wonder how a third would fit in with the older two being so close.

So then maybe we need to have two more....

(Please don't take this post too seriously - obviously a checked off calendar is not the way to make a decision about growing your family. We feel very blessed to have our two kiddos, we love our family and the crazy ride that is parenthood. We also believe God has a plan for us and our family (including future children) and while we may dream and prepare, we are trusting trust in His plan and timing.)

Linking up with:
Jellibean Journals


  1. Thanks for linking up Taara. I can totally relate, but on having 2. I'm so very ready most of the time to have another, though my daughter still isn't quite one, but other days she's so busy that I hardly have the energy to think of another child.

    1. This is why God created pregnancy to last nine months! So you have some time to prepare. :) and by the end we are much more ready to have the baby than to stay pregnant. Heheheh

  2. Hi! I'm a new follower from Mom's Monday Mingle! I was just going through these same thoughts a few months ago. I have 2 boys ages 4 and almost 2. The baby fever sets in every so often and I think how great it would be to have another warm cuddly little baby around again. On the otherhand, would my 2 year old get lost in the mix and they are both getting to be so independent it is fun and I'm finally getting my body back..
    For right now I think we are good with 2...but I'm leaving my options open :)

    1. Thanks for following! Yeah, there is no way I'm ready to completely close the door on having more kids. And then I see families with older children really helping out the younger ones. Lucas was really still such a baby when Elena came along, and I can already see how he could be a big help now that he's older.

  3. First of all, I LOVE your way with words, Sweetie!! It's just plain fun to check your blog and see what word-smithing you've been up to. As far as another kid or two, I could handle that!! Would love to live closer so that I could cuddle and snuggle with the two cuties you have now!! I am grateful for Skype!!
    Love to you 4!

  4. I loved this post! So spot on--and even more, I love your idea of the calendar (not taking it too seriously, of course ;) ) Seems to make the most sense for how to tackle all the pros and cons for sure!

  5. I love the way Lucas sits with his knees pressed together, and Elena is the opposite. So very sweet. (Have another) ;-)

  6. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE Carson and would never ever give him up or wish we didn't have him... but life was so so so much easier with only 2 kids! Plus it seems the world is made for the family of 4 - restaurants, hotels etc.

  7. New follower from the Mommy Brain Mixer.

    As a fellow introvert I also debated for a while about going from 2 to 3. Mine are now 8, 6 and 3. It was tough in the beginning but gets easier at each stage. I make a sincere effort to schedule days off for myself when my husband can watch the kids to give me a break.

  8. I hear you. I realistically know we're done at 2 (1 of each) but it's a hard decision to make. I like your calendar, maybe that will help me.

    New follower from the Mommy Brain Mixer

  9. Your calendar idea is very creative. My husband was deadset on having only two children. I wanted three. God gave us four! Of course, we don't regret any of them even if our days are crazy busy. It's a tough decision and a very personal one. I guess we are lucky because we never had a chance to really make the decision since #3 and #4 were both oops babies, seriously. If you want any help in this decision, I will say this: Going from two to three was an easier transition than going from one to two. And while it will be more expensive, you do already have the clothes and toys, so it won't be as costly as going from one to two was for you. Of course, then you'll be outnumbered! Good luck in your decision. If you ever want to peak at what life is like with more kids, visit me at

    1. Yes, sometimes I think it would be easier if we had another surprise!

  10. Danny and I are both third children and look how sweet we turned out! :) Love you guys and your littles!

    1. Had to laugh at this comment, Charissa! :)

  11. New follower here from the Monday Mom's Musing blog hop. I love the checks on a calendar idea. Maybe I should use that as I decide if I want to have a second.

  12. ha ha I love your calendar idea! Our #4 was a big surprise to us but turned out to be a wonderful, happy addition to our family :) My mood sways daily as to whether we ever want another one as well!


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